Living in Nepal with a Productivity Mindset

Swayambhunath, Kathmandu 

I have been mulling over this blog idea for many months now. It is trippy to be living in such a different place with different values, practices and ideas of how to live life. Truly this is an experience I’ve wanted to have since I was young. I’ve always been curious to really explore how another culture(s) does this thing called life. 

The thing is though, there are a myriad of ways of living life within the overarching swath of one culture itself. So, all of my words here are obviously subjective and should not be taken as a representation of Nepal as a whole. Although I have had relatively more experiences here in Nepal than most of my community back in the PNW, that does not mean I am an expert on Nepali culture by any means. All of my experiences are a projection of my own mind, ha. 

But yes, living in Nepal with a US, specifically, Seattle conditioned nervous system is like ‘woaaaah wow wow wow whattt’. There are many different levels of this ‘woah wow wow’ experience, but the one I wanted to focus on in this blog is the productivity mindset that comes with so much of our conditioning and cultural values in the US. 

When I was living in the village with my host family, my host mom would always say that Nepali people were “lazy,” which was really confusing to me because Nepali people seemed to work harder than most people I had seen in my life. Many people I observed in Nepal were working in different ways than people I grew up around in the US. People working in the fields, farming, repairing their houses from the earthquakes and floods, cooking everything they eat from scratch, spending hours peeling green beans so there was enough to eat for dinner. 

What my host mom had said was really hard for me to understand at that time. And in many ways, it still is. But, how I understand it now is that Nepali people may be seen in this way compared to the American way of living. Where from the moment you wake up in the morning to the time you go to sleep, you don’t lay down, rest or just sit outside with a cup of tea and watch the leaves blow in the wind. 

In America, I have felt like most of my worth as a human is based on how much I am producing/working/where I’m working or going to school. Not to denounce these things as not being important; however, maybe they shouldn’t be the basis of worth for a person. 

In Nepal, the economy and job market are very different from the US. Many young adults leave Nepal to go abroad for university study, master’s study or career opportunities. I didn’t understand at first why these young people would leave Nepal instead of using their skills to help create a stronger economy and infrastructure in their country. However, after living here for almost a year and getting to know different people, it has become apparent that many jobs simply don’t exist here and the political corruption makes it difficult for the economy and infrastructure to grow in a way that benefits the masses, rather than just those in the political seats. 

I really feel called to stay here in Nepal; this place simply doesn’t just feel like home, but is my home. However, this has come with many shifts in mentality and understanding of what life is and how I want to live it. 

First and foremost, I have needed to change my mindset from having an acupuncture ‘career’ to having an acupuncture ‘practice.’ The truth is, I can practice Chinese Medicine anywhere at any time. I have skills with my hands, needles, lifestyle/dietary advice, etc. My own practice of self-cultivation will also be an important part of this journey. Me having a successful, insurance-taking practice in the US doesn’t make me any more legitimate of a practitioner than practicing in Nepal and simply never taking money from my patients, but rather finding funding elsewhere. 

In some ways this has been an easy shift to make in my mentality, because deep down that’s where my head and heart have been at since the beginning of me wanting to practice medicine. I was initially attracted to it because it gave me the opportunity to communicate with people about what was really going on with them and then being able to help guide toward solutions, healing, connection, etc. What a dream! Instead of sitting in corporate offices talking about things I sincerely don’t know or care about. For those of you who know me, you may agree, I am not good at hiding how I feel for long, if I don’t align with something, sooner or later I won’t be able to stand it. 

In some ways this shift in mindset has been extremelyyyyy hard. My mind tends to want to compare and think about what other people would want/expect from me. My mind also tends to want to be busy all the time. Like if I’m not working myself into the ground then I’m doing something wrong. This is something that comes up for me maybe a few times per week now. It used to permeate me most days. Then, I would mobilize this itchy productive mindset and bicycle all around the city meeting different doctors, trying to find a solution to the difficulty of getting my US Chinese Med license recognized here in Nepal. Not to say that networking and effort aren’t required; they are, but not from a place of desperation. Because in many ways, this cuts off creativity. I had about two straight months where I would leave the house most days, biking many kilometers, meeting with many different people. Later finding out, many of them didn’t have appropriate interests for working with me. I was discouraged to say the least and felt totally squirmy. Being like I NEED TO DO SOMETHING AHHH. How can I make this all happen right here right now??! Patience was far from felt or practiced at this time. 

This feeling of course was an important one to feel. I saw my scarcity mindset and the misaligned actions it was propelling me toward. A lot of this drive too was coming from wanting to do something that was digestible for people who know and love me. It is almost unacceptable for people in the US to hear “I’m just out here living” or “I’m taking my time to figure things out” or “ya I’m not making an income right now.” Or maybe it’s my own insecurity that thinks that. Regardless, I had a turning point where I was like Ok, I am going to focus my energy on volunteering at 1-2 organizations 2-3 days per week and then really spend more time allowing myself to acclimate to the new way of life here. I chose to stop worrying about the licensure for now. Nepal’s official recognition of my US licensure would allow me to practice and take money for my services. Without it, I can still volunteer. The going rate for acupuncture in Nepal is USD $4-7 per treatment. I chose to try to practice patience and try to really work and practice in a way that would align with my deeper values and intentions; rather than simply stroking my more superficial “productivity-minded” ego. 

From this point on, I have been able to cultivate my relationship with myself, my partner, my community and my patients from more of a place of agency and less insecurity. It used to be terrifying for me to go to the market by myself to buy vegetables to cook for dinner that night. My Nepali at that point was sparse and I was mortified when someone laughed at me. Which can happen being a foreigner in a place where there aren’t any other foreigners. People can really stare at you with no shame. But I realized that most of this fear was really coming from my own mind and what was happening around me wasn’t a threat at all. When I took the time to slow down, orient myself to my surroundings, learn more Nepali and try to relate to the people around me, everything seemed to shift. 

Also, actively trying to switch out of this productivity mindset has allowed me to align more with myself on how to work in a way that is more in line with my actual values. Of course my values shift and aren’t rigid; I do definitely value hard work, but not to a point that I lose the connection to myself and those around me. I felt that this happened when I was in graduate school. The expectations and workload are high and it was damaging to my system in many ways. But it was also incredibly worthwhile and an important step in my journey. I do not regret it at all and my school is an amazing institution that I think does justice to the teaching of Chinese Medicine in America, which is no small feat. However, I have decided that I need to take the time to really get to know myself, my likes and dislikes and how I want to be creative and productive in my life. Where am I putting my energy? What do I want to ‘produce’? What do I want to create?

What I have landed on thus far is that most of the hours in my days need to be spent off the screen and in the world. My capacity for “productive” online work and learning is lower because I am learning something new every time I step outside my door. I anticipate this shifting as I acclimate more to living in Nepal. However, I am learning that it is ok to also just “be” sometimes. To take rest in between tasks, even take a nap during the day. Or to find the simple joy in cooking every meal and handwashing clothes. This is all still an ongoing process for me. It’s like you realize something one second and then forget it the next. But I’m glad some small shifts are taking place.

I have also understood that I want to find and grow in community not only here in Nepal centered around Chinese medicine and healing arts, but also an online community where I can connect with people back in the US. 

I anticipate some parts of my understanding of the world will continue to totally shift and change. I am on my journey living in Nepal as someone who grew up in the US. There are certain luxuries that I’m used to that simply don’t exist here. I am really pushed up against myself and how I am behaving/perceiving the world. So, I hope to continue this journey with eyes wide open and intentions clear and grounded. By no means have I been a saint on this journey, those closest to me could attest to that. However, I am committed to the acclimation process and open to being transformed by it. 

May we all understand that it is okay to have fun, let go of work a bit and not need to be consistently productive in order to be worthy human beings. What if cooking a nutritious delicious dinner was just as important as responding to those emails? Idk, I’m still exploring too. And as uncomfortable as it can be sometimes to shed conditioned ways of thinking, it can also feel so good to really do things differently. May change be embraced and the shackles of expectation be thrown. I wonder what lies beneath? Let’s explore.